What if someone asked you to bake a cake? What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Do you picture the cake itself, a delicious tower of chocolate, in all its glory? Perhaps you imagine a billowy vanilla birthday cake with the perfect design of sprinkles and buttercream frosting.

当出发去做烤蛋糕之类的事情时，我们倾向于从结果上考虑。与其简单地烘烤蛋糕，您对自己将产生的产品的期望如此依恋，以至于您完全错过了这一过程。

Can you think of areas in your life in which the same way of thinking applies? Perhaps you have a goal to become fitter. Instead of reveling in those moments of healthy eating and exercise, many become obsessed with the way they want to look. Often times, this can make people feel frustrated and hard on themselves.

也许，您的目标是在财务上稳定。您可能会专注于银行帐户中的数字，而不是为个人发展和努力工作而感到自豪。

When we feel ready to accomplish something, we long for that immediate gratification. People often set goals with the end-game in mind, expecting that change to happen overnight.

生活本来可以享受。但是，当我们对结果过于依恋时，它使我们无法享受present moment。这样一来，您将错过现在生活中发生的所有令人惊奇的事情。

Emotional Surfing
Many of our most precious goals don’t happen quickly. They require hard work and persistence. These periods of change don’t always feel good. In fact, more often than not, they can feel extremely painful. When results don’t happen fast enough, you naturally feel frustrated.

Navigating new waters leads us through unpredictable situations. Waves of intense emotions can rise up, making us feel uneasy, frightened, and panicked even. Often times, we want to push those feelings aside.

What if, instead of fighting against the current, we rode with it? Think of it as emotional surfing, Rather than rejecting feelings of discomfort, you allow yourself to feel. Here’s how it works:

Step 1:Go to a quiet place. Bring to mind the situation that troubles you.

Step 2:Notice any sensations you feel in the physical body. Perhaps you feel shortness of breath, tension in the chest, aches in your shoulders, or tightness in the neck.

Step 3:确认uncomfortable emotionsthat you feel such as anger, shame, guilt, anxiety, grief, sadness, and so on.Referencing a list of emotionsmay help in getting specific about how you feel.

Step 4:Sit with those feelings in the mind and body. Allow yourself to experience the emotion. You can even lean into them, making them feel bigger than they do. Notice the way you respond. Do thoughts come up that resist against the emotions (“I shouldn’t feel this way”)? Do you notice yourself pushing these emotions away?

According to a Harvard Universitystudy, simply identifying areas of tension, whether felt in the body or emotionally can actually alleviate the intensity of discomfort. Through emotional surfing, you allow tension to pass through you like a wave rises and falls. When you made those feelings bigger initially, they probably became smaller in the end.

Let the Process Guide You
As you go through changes, meditation practices like emotional surfing bring awareness to what’s going on internally and acknowledge, in a healthy way, what we experience during the process of change.

Without awareness, if we feel angry, we may act out by yelling at a loved one or breaking something. When we feel sad, we may resort to pacifiers like drinking alcohol or overeating. Meditation brings awareness to the discomfort without letting those emotions take control over our actions.

What do these uncomfortable feelings tell you?
当然，这些情绪可能感觉不好，但是它们可以教您有价值的课程。也许他们指出了自己需要改进的领域。让他们指导您朝着打破不健康的行为模式并前进所需的方向。

Removing Expectations
We often think of life in a linear way. That if we complete Step A, we can check the box, and carry on to Step B, C, and D. But that’s not how life works. Along the way, we arrive at twists, turns, road bumps, and dead ends, which lead to unexpected outcomes.

You’ll put yourself in a box by following a rigid straight path toward goals that doesn’t open up the space to learn and grow.

Sure, setting end goals and having a vision helps to accomplish our dreams. However, having too strong of an attachment to the outcome, we could miss out on unexpected opportunities that arise along the way. You may discover the things that once mattered no longer do.

因此，在意想不到的惊喜中找到美丽。设定目标，但要使自己灵活地学习和成长。通过让自己放慢脚步，我们会体验到这一过程的绝对享受。当我们注意并专注于过程的享受时，结果令人惊讶，就像礼物一样，就像蛋糕上面的樱桃一样。

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